[Listen]

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[Radio Static]

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THE REPORTER:

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Good evening, Witherburn, the whole community is preparing for a very special fall festival this year, so the town is bustling.  I am also a bit busy getting ready for my special Halloween episode of After School News. We will get to that Halloween stuff soon enough, but we have a couple of other things on our agenda today as well, such as the graffiti found in Town Square, a new hip band starting up, and a very special live interview from Christopher Breckenridge. You heard that right, an interview. All that and more coming up on Witherburn After School News. 

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[Theme Music]

 

Our first story tonight is about the local girl scout troop 2304. They are working on making a community garden in Witherburn Park. The leader of this project is Mackenzie Mishra, a cadet in middle school. This project is gonna help her earn her silver award, which is just one step away from a gold award, which is a big deal in the girl scout world. Anyway, they hope to plant hearty vegetables like tomatoes and cucumbers and any food that isn't taken before final harvest, because remember, it's a community garden, so if you need a tomato, don't hesitate to run over there. Anyway, all food not taken before final harvest gets donated to the local food bank.

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Mackenzie has many plans for this project, but her main one is to give the people of Witherburn easier access to vegetables.  She says, “My main goal is that if people ever get a little hungry at the park, they head towards the community garden instead of the vending machines.” They start their planting process right after Halloween, and they are encouraging community members to help. So don't forget to drop on by. 

Our next story- 

 

[Cell Phone ding]

 

Hold on, listeners, me and Chris are still working out the kinks of the interview. I know he seems like an unlikely candidate for my very first live interview,  but he's the only person I know that can use Discord. He also says he has more information about Scarlett's homecoming party, so he was as good a candidate as any.  But enough about him, he will have his time to talk later. 

Let's first move on to our next story, a new band is forming in Witherburn. Frances Smith, Hazel McLumere, and Georgie Downer are making a band called the Swamp Children, which they say is folk punk. After practicing in their garage for a few months, they decided to take the stage at an open mic night in Magnolia's Cafe.

 

This debut received a decent amount of positive reception to the point where they now have a small cult following. Maisy is even letting them have a 16+ show in the Bog Monster Bar next Saturday.  Maisy has always been a supporter of new talent. Though the Swamp children aren't stopping at shows, they wanna bring their music to Spotify. 

 

According to a tweet from the band, “we never expected such positive support; we just wanted to create music. But while we're doing this, let's just see how big we could get.” If you are interested in seeing the swamp children live, then simply go on to their Twitter @WBSwampChildren , and check out the garages and cafes they're playing. They give daily updates, I hope they continue to rock their future endeavors…. I'm hilarious.

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You know what's also hilarious? These Halloween costume ideas, whether you are besties, a couple, or going it solo, these ideas will make sure you have the coolest costume at the party. For couples, they should do Bonnie and Clyde, the famous lovers that were doomed to die young because of their violent crimes. Or they could try Adam and Eve, The couple that sent humanity on a downward spiral.

 

Bert and Ernie are also great options, especially if you and your partner are gay. For people who are doing solo costumes this year, try Joan of Arc, a costume that will be fire, I'm sure. If you wanna start a fight, Go as Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton because people are still traumatized by 2016. If those still aren't working for you, then try Elle Woods if you want people to think you're a cool person to talk to at the party.

 

These costumes are sure to help you stand out and-​

 

[Sounds of a door opening]

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[Sounds of a person quietly speaking]

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[Sounds of a door closing]

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Okay. I'm being told by my associate that I am not doing a good job selling these costume ideas. I personally disagree, but I will apologize, listeners, if you don't wanna be gay muppets anymore, I guess that's on me. 

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The Witherburn vandal, as I have started calling them, has struck again, now in the town square.This time, there are no weird letters or ciphers to crack, just the simple message of beware Halloween in dark red spray paint across the main street.  People initially didn't think it was the vandal, but simply a spooky decoration for the festival. It wasn't until the mayor's assistant, Jessica came out onto the street screaming about this flagrant disrespect that anyone really paid any mind. But this begs the question of how the vandal even managed to spray paint the street without being noticed. 

 

Well, get a load of this listeners, there's security footage of the incident that reveals exactly how they got away with it. It was an hour after the mayor had left, so around 7:30, and the perp came into town square with a yellow vest, a fake badge, and a mask. Three different people passed by them and didn't even bother to take a second glance because they just assumed they were supposed to be there, which, let's be honest, is genius. I mean, this person is essentially flipping off the authority of this town and mocking them like some weird serial killer would do. I'm not rooting for the vandal by any means, but it's fun to see what they do next.

 

I mean, it's a low stakes crime and just a fun little mystery to solve. The police are, of course, investigating, but we've seen how well they've done that these past few weeks. Sheriff Sinanger says that these crimes usually go unsolved unless they recognize the person's tag, which the vandal doesn't have, or unless they identified the person's face. So it's essentially a game of cat and mouse until this mystery person gets caught in the act, and, oh, boy. I'm sure they're gonna have a fun time paying those fines they racked up.

 

Listeners,  can I be honest with you for a second?  I feel like the police department is investing more time into finding the vandal than they are the missing teens. If I'm being blunt, I feel like they should be putting a hundred percent of their investigative efforts into the missing and not running around trying to catch some petty criminal. I even asked Mr. Farrow, a victim of the vandal, the other day, and he agreed saying if “my daughter was missing, I wouldn't care about some graffiti. I just want my girl back.”

 

I'm sure some of you guys disagree, and maybe I'm being unreasonable, but I'll just leave y'all with some food for thought. Speaking of food, Gill's Grocers is having a harvest sale on pumpkins, corn, and squash. It will all be 20% off. Gill does this every year, and every year, he says he just wants to make sure families have affordable staples for the holidays. Most people won't be shocked to hear him say that considering he also runs the biggest annual food drive in the county.

 

Make sure to take advantage of those deals because this sale only lasts Until Thanksgiving Day. We move on to- 

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[Cellphone notification]

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Seriously?  I can't believe this, man. Alright, folks. Chris is telling me to speed this up. Interviewees. Am I right?

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I'm gonna do this one last segment before we start our interview, though, and that segment is Monster of The Week. I mean, Come on, guys, you know I can't miss that.

 

This week's monster is sponsored by our favorite, Mr. Pickler. He claims to have been working in his garage a few ago when he heard something running towards him, he turned around and saw a creature with green scaly skin, red eyes, and three black claws. Mister Pickler jumped into his car, but the monster proceeded to wreck his workstation and dent his door. There are also reported long scratch marks on his car doors. 

 

Now let's assume mister Pickler is telling the truth. What monster could this man have encountered? Well, folks, it's none other than the lizard man from South Carolina. This creature was first sighted in 1988 and was said to be, well,  a man that looked like a mutant lizard. The lizard man is said to live in the swamps and attack people. Besides that, there is no information on this creature.

 

This lends credence to the idea that the reptile man is a hoax. In fact, the more you learn about the story, the more it sounds like it came straight out of a Scooby Doo movie. See, the original sighting of the lizard man came from Christopher Davis. He claims to have been fixing his flat tire when the lizard man attacked him. In the end, the car was dented and torn, but it's suspected that Christopher was just trying to get insurance money.

 

But the town latched onto the story and branded everything around this scary new creature, the lizard man. If you ask me, it seems like mister Pickler took a page from Christopher's playbook. He probably just wanted an insurance claim. Who am I to judge, though? Maybe mister Pickler did have a terrifying run-in with the lizard man. The world may never know.

Now for the moment we have all been waiting for the interview. 

 

[Mimics Trumpet Noise]

 

Everyone welcome, Dyce to After School News. 

 

DYCE:​

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This is a one person radio show. Who's welcoming me?

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THE REPORTER:​

 

Don't think too hard about it. Okay? Anyways, Dyce, has anything interesting been happening to you lately?  

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DYCE:

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Not really, my Twitch channel reached 400,000, I've played a lot of video games. Actually, this new game came out, and it's a mystery. And you-

 

THE REPORTER:

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That's nice, Dyce. Real nice. But Let's get on to our first question.

There are rumors that your esports team is falling apart because you keep taking all the credit. Is that true? 

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DYCE:

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Yeah, No. The team knows that I make that joke a lot. And I won't lie, I definitely got the most experience. But when it comes down to it, we all know that we play a vital role. Even a couple of newbies who haven't played many multiplayer games have been practicing their butts off. I wouldn't be where I am without them, and I'm not afraid to admit it. 

 

THE REPORTER:

 

Woah. I didn't expect such an honest answer. I thought you were gonna do some sassy quip about how you're the best gamer there ever was.  

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DYCE: 

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No. What? Why would I- Do you not realize that I'm being sarcastic when I say stuff like that?  

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THE REPORTER:

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No. 

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DYCE:

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Wow. 

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THE REPORTER:

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Okay. Okay. This interview is not about how I can't read social cues. Alright? We should move on to the next question.

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DYCE:​

Oh, yeah. Shoot.

 

THE REPORTER:

 

Why were you live streaming Scarlet's party?

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DYCE:

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To gain subs, obviously. I wanna make this my career someday, so you know I gotta be grinding  24/7 . Plus, it's good to show your viewers that you have a life outside of games. 

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THE REPORTER:

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Yet you stopped the moment something happened with Amelia. Why is that?

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DYCE:

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I stopped because I didn't wanna put her on blast in front of 40,000 people . Did you think I'm some kind of monster or something? I know we got Twitter beef, but damn. 

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THE REPORTER:

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I was just wondering because drama like that would probably bring in a lot of views. I mean, I've already found people theorizing about what happened. People trying to look for the, quote, “rest of the video”. You would have probably gained a lot of subs from it. 

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DYCE:

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Uh, look. I know that you like to poke through other people's business, but I'm not about that.

I care about people. Numbers don't matter when real people are on the line. Though I suppose you don't relate to that? 

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THE REPORTER:

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I'm going to ignore that because it was actually you who said you had more information about what went down at Scarlett's party. So despite that whole spiel you just had, I still expect an answer.

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DYCE:

 

The answer is that Hunter's a douchebag.

THE REPORTER:

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Well, We knew that. Also, please refrain from cursing on here.  

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DYCE:

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So no one is talking about how he tried to slip something into Amelia's drink, how he made these disgusting remarks and just-

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THE REPORTER:

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Woah. Woah. Chris, go back. What about slipping something into her drink?

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DYCE:

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I saw that he tried to slip something into a drink she was making for her friend. He clearly thought it was for her, so I told Amelia about it, and she threw the drink out. And then I asked her what she wanted me to do about it, but she didn't wanna make a scene. So, so I respected that, but, honestly, I wish I didn't. Like, later on that night, Hunter kept making these comments about the missing, like, how they were weak and couldn’t handle  living out here? And, like, who even says that?

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THE REPORTER:

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Wait. Why did he bring up the missing?  

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DYCE:

 

I don't, I don't know.  Probably because I was best friends with Jonathan. 

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THE REPORTER:

 

Oh,  I forgot that you were close.  I'm sorry, by the way. 

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DYCE:

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It's fine.  I know that everyone's saying he's fine, but I worry. He didn't text me before he left, and, also, it just doesn't make sense. 

 

THE REPORTER:

 

How so? 

 

DYCE: 

 

Well, he was studying really hard to pass his math test, and that's what the fight with his parents was about. It was his math grade.  Anyway, he was at my house studying his butt off, and he was getting really good at it. Like, seriously, I think he would have at least made a B.  But then he left the day before, and I guess maybe the pressure was just too much.  

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THE REPORTER:

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No. No. That's weird. 

 

DYCE:

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Right? He tells me everything, and all of a sudden, poof. He ditches me for no reason. And it's just.. Sorry, I'm getting off topic. That's really all the information I have about Hunter.  

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THE REPORTER:

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Yeah. That's all the questions I have for you. I guess this is where the interview ends, I hope you have a nice day, Dyce. 

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DYCE:

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Yeah. Make sure you subscribe to Dyce on Twitch and YouTube. Deuces! 

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THE REPORTER:

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So How was that for a first interview?  I sure thought it was interesting. Definitely shed a light on a couple of issues.  That's all I have for today because I have some digging to do. Make sure to tune in next week to Witherburn After School News.

I'm the reporter signing off.  Deuces.